Properly fingering anal is much more than "just shoving your finger up your bottom". The anus is a sensitive nerve center that reacts very intensely to touch - for all genders. So that anal fingering is not painful or embarrassing, but pleasurable, intimate and safe, it requires preparation, sensitivity and good communication.
In this guide, you'll find out how to make anal fingering safe and enjoyable for men and women, what to look out for when it comes to hygiene and how you can pamper yourself anal.
Why a finger in the bottom can be so arousing
The anus is criss-crossed by many nerve endings - even touching the outside can be extremely arousing. An anal massage can trigger strong feelings of pleasure in all genders because
- the skin around the anus is very sensitive,
- light pressure, circular movements or stretching are intensely felt,
- the unusual stimulation stimulates the head cinema.
In men, there is another bonus: the prostate. It is located a few centimetres behind the anus and can be stimulated with a finger through the anterior intestinal wall. For many men, this feels like a deep, vibrating, almost wave-like sensation of pleasure - unlike the "classic" penile orgasm.
Anal fingering for women
Anal fingering in women works a little differently than in men because they don't have a prostate - but the area is also full of nerves and can be incredibly pleasurable.
1.Approach slowly
If you want to pleasure your partner anal, sensitivity is key. Approach slowly:
- start with kissing, stroking, maybe a massage,
- pamper her vaginally or clitorally first so that she is relaxed and aroused,
- slowly move from the front to the back to the bottom - not the other way around.
This way, anal stimulation feels like a natural progression, not a sudden "assault".
2.Lubricant & gentle entry
The anus does not lubricate itself. Therefore, use a high-quality anal lubricant so that the touch is smooth and low-friction. A few drops around the anus are usually enough to make the skin slippery.
Important rules:
- You don't have to penetrate deeply - most of the nerves are located directly at the anus and in the first few centimeters.
- Start with gentle pressure and circular movements instead of "just going in".
- Use a fingertip first, then slowly use more when she feels comfortable.
3.From front to back - never back
You can finger her vaginally first and then move to the anus. But: You can't go from the back to the front. If your finger was in the bottom, it has no business being in the vagina. Otherwise you risk infections because intestinal bacteria can get into the vagina.
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Fingers in the man's anus
For men, the topic of "fingers in the bottom" is often associated with shame, prejudice or insecurity - although prostate stimulation can be one of the most intense sexual experiences ever for many.
1.Trust & sensitivity
Not every man is immediately ready to be touched in the back. Proceed slowly:
- start with a relaxing back or bottom massage,
- stroke the lower back, buttocks and inner thighs,
- feel out together what feels good - without pressure.
If your partner remains visibly relaxed, you can gently approach the anus: first play around it with your finger, then penetrate gently with consent and relaxation - always with good lubrication.
2.Prostate stimulation
If your finger is in your bottom, you can feel your man's prostate: it is located about two to four centimetres towards the abdominal wall. Many men like:
- light, rhythmic pressure on this area,
- a "come here" movement with the finger (slightly curved),
- the combination of prostate stimulation and simultaneous touching of the penis.
The following applies here: try it out carefully, ask how it feels - and it's better to start gently than too intensively.
Cleanliness, preparation & aids
Good preparation helps to ensure that anal fingering is not disturbed by insecurity or unpleasant situations.
1.Personal hygiene
A fresh shower takes away many people's shyness. If you like, you can also carefully clean the rectum. There are suitable intimate showers that can be used with lukewarm water. This is not a must, but for many it gives a good feeling of security.
2.Lubricant especially for anal pleasure
The anus does not produce its own moisture. A good anal lubricant is essential to ensure that penetration remains gentle and pain-free. Ideally, use a personal lubricant that is designed for anal sex - often formulated to be a little thicker and more nourishing.
3. Hands & fingernails
- Wash your hands thoroughly before playing anal.
- Keep your fingernails short, smooth and clean - sharp edges can injure the sensitive mucous membrane.
- If you want to be particularly hygienic or avoid small scratches, you can use disposable gloves.
More about anal play & preparation:
Anal toys & anal sex guide
Lubricant & anal lubricant
Intimate douches & cleaning
How do you finger yourself anally?
Fingering yourself anal is often easier than your partner - you know your body best and can directly feel what feels good. Two things are important: the right position and plenty of lube.
Comfortable positions are, for example
- lying on your stomach with your bottom slightly raised (pillow under your hips),
- lying on your back, legs bent and slightly apart,
- on your side with your top leg bent.
Try out where you can reach your anus in the most relaxed way. Use lubricant and massage only the outside at first before slowly penetrating. Your body will clearly show you when it's too much. Listen to these signals - you should be able to let yourself go, not tense up.
How do you finger anally properly?
"Fingers in the ass" is not automatically a pleasure - it' s the technique that counts. It makes sense to practise on yourself first to understand which movements are comfortable and where the limits are.
A few basic rules:
- take your time, no frantic penetration,
- massage the outside first, then apply gentle pressure to the anus,
- don't force your finger through, but wait for the moment when the sphincter gives way,
- short, well-groomed fingernails are a must.
When penetrating, the finger can initially only stretch the opening and later go a little deeper. In men, the prostate is located towards the abdominal wall; in women, areas towards the vagina can be perceived as particularly pleasant. The aim is not to go "as deep as possible", but to find the right spot and the right intensity.
Anal stretching for men
You can start anal stretch ing for men gently with oil or lubricant and a circular massage around the anus. Once the body is relaxed, the finger can slowly penetrate. If you want more, you can use small Anal plugs use.
Anal plugs are available in many sizes - from very small to very expansive. So you can increase the stretch step by step. Some men also wear small plugs in everyday life for a lasting feeling of fullness and as preparation for anal sex.
Fingering women properly anal
Fingering a woman anal is not as simple as "in and done". Like men, women have plenty of nerve endings in their anus, but no prostate. So you have to find a surface and angle that she likes. Many like gentle stretching combined with vulva or clitoral stimulation.
It can be very pleasant to bend your finger slightly in the bottom and move it towards the vagina. This creates an internal pressure that can be combined with external touches. It remains very important: From front to back yes, from back to front no. So you can finger her vaginally and then move to the anus, but never bring the "anal finger" back into the vagina or near the urethra - otherwise you risk infection.
Safety, communication & boundaries
As pleasurable as anal fingering can be - it remains an area with particularly sensitive structures. A few basic principles can help keep play safe:
- Talk about it beforehand: Does your partner want to be stimulated anal? How far should it go? Are there any no-goes?
- Respect stop signals: "Too strong", "pause", "stop" should be taken seriously immediately.
- Avoid injuries: no hard, jerky movements, no sharp nails, no objects that are not intended for this purpose.
- Observe safer sex: If other practices are added (e.g. anal sex), adjust condom changes and hygiene accordingly.
If you feel safe and respected, anal fingering can become an incredibly intimate, bonding and erotic part of your sexuality - whether as preparation for anal sex, as your own play or as a tingling addition to foreplay.
