Dirty talk: How to make it hot - practical tips for beginners & advanced users

Dirty talk is the art of arousing lust with words: dirty, playful, sometimes cheeky - but never disrespectful or hurtful. Our fantasies run not only through hands, lips and looks, but also through what we hear. A well-placed sentence can explode the tension, even in long-term relationships.

"Go on, tell me something dirty!" - many have heard, said or secretly wished for this phrase. Dirty talking helps you to express your desires more clearly, deepen roles and make your love life more intense without becoming a crude porn copy. It can be sensual, playful and sophisticated.

What is dirty talking anyway?

Dirty talking refers to any form of deliberately erotic language in a sexual context. These can be very direct sentences such as:

"Come on, take me already."

as well as imaginative announcements:

"I'm about to tie you up and coax every drop of lust out of your body."

Playful requests or submissive phrases are also included - for example in a D/s setting:

"Mistress, may I wear your plug to obey you?"

Dirty talk allows roles to be lived out even more intensively: a mistress appears more confident with the right words, a sub can express submissiveness, devotion or greed without falling out of character. Dirty talking is therefore a tool for making fantasies audible.

Dirty talking and BDSM: perfect partners

In BDSM, dirty talk is almost a classic: it reinforces power imbalances, makes role play more lively and provides important feedback without disrupting the flow. A cool silence can be very intense - but specific words can increase the pressure even further.

Feedback is particularly important during anal practices, spanking, bondage games or intense toys. Phrases like:

"Beg for me to finally insert your plug."

or:

"Tell me how much you want my spanking."

can make dominance and submission audible without destroying the frame. In this way, the active part (top/dom/domina) can strengthen its role, while the passive part (sub/bottom) expresses desires, limits and lust.

Basics: How to integrate dirty talking into your love life

The first step is often the hardest: jumping over your own shadow. Many people find dirty talk fascinating - but at the same time there's the fear of sounding "ridiculous". The good news is that your partner is usually much less critical than you are.

It's helpful to start by talking about it in a calm atmosphere - without actually being in bed:

• Which words do you find erotic, which not at all?
• What is not acceptable (taboos)?
• How rough or how playful can the language be?

Maybe pet names like "doggy" or certain swear words turn you off - then they have no place in your dirty talk. The more clearly you define taboos and no-goes beforehand, the more relaxed you can play later.

Once you've overcome the first hurdle, dirty talk quickly feels surprisingly natural. The important thing is that you don't have to be poetic or perfect. It's enough if you honestly express what you feel or want at the moment.

Dirty talking in practical use

Imagine you are handcuffed to a bed or even a pillory and don't know exactly what is going to happen to you. Silence can heighten the tension - but words turn a moment into a mental movie.

[emotion emotion_id="396"]

When your partner stands in front of you with a tube of anal lube and announces with a smile:

"I'm about to shove a plug up your naughty slave butt - and you're going to feel every second of it."

can cause your arousal to skyrocket. Even small comments have a strong effect:

"Oh, you're so tight today."

while a finger or toy carefully penetrates can intensify pleasure and devotion - even if a gag makes it impossible for you to answer.

Comment calmly on what you're up to or what you're feeling. Phrases like:

"You'll wear this plug until you've satisfied me the way I want it."

can be a threat, a promise and an incentive at the same time. It remains important: Consensuality, safewords and respect always come first.

What you should pay attention to when dirty talking

Whether in "vanilla sex", BDSM or fetish games: Words can heal - but they can also hurt. That's why boundaries are just as important here as with physical practices.

• Remain respectful - even if you are playing with humiliation.
• Don't attack true insecurities or traumas (body, past, family, etc.).
• Make sure you don't overrun taboos even in the throes of pleasure.
• Agree on safewords or stop signals for harder, humiliating forms of dirty talk.

Some words stick in your mind and can't simply be forgotten after the session. Ask afterwards: "Which sentences were hot for you? Where was the limit?" This will help you grow into it together and build trust.

Why you'll love dirty talking

Dirty talk can enrich your love life on many levels because..

• ...it creates new tensions - even in everyday life.
• ...it allows you to express your sexual desires more clearly.
• ...you can give and demand feedback without falling out of character.
• ...it can be integrated into almost any sexual practice.
• ...you can finally express parts of your head cinema.
• ...it gives role-playing games a whole new depth.

Dirty talking brings more thrills, more openness and often also more closeness - because you say things to each other that would otherwise only happen in your fantasies.

Dirty talking in everyday life - more than "just" in bed

Dirty talk doesn't have to be limited to bed. It can quietly permeate everyday life and create that subliminal, simmering tension that gets the evening started in the morning.

Examples:

• A short, ambiguous message at the office: "I want you all to myself tonight."
• A sentence on the phone after a stressful day: "When you get home, I'll show you how I'm going to distract you."
• A whispered promise while shopping: " When we get home, you'll undress first."

Such sentences don't have to be extremely dirty. A clear indication that you are thinking about your partner sexually is often enough. Important: Never hold out the prospect of something you don't actually want - dirty talk loses its magic if it's just empty words.

Combining dirty talking with fetishes

For many, dirty talk is a small fetish in itself: the desire for words, vocal tones and phrasing. It becomes particularly exciting when you combine dirty talk with other preferences, for example:

• Tease & denial: You get your partner hot and then make him wait.
• Bondage games: Whispered threats while he/she is restrained.
• Role play: Nurse, teacher, boss, dominatrix, etc.
• Fetish clothing: Nylons, latex, leather, high heels.

An example of Tease & Denial: You walk past your partner and whisper in his/her ear:

"I'm not wearing any underwear today - but you're still not coming too close to me until I say you can."

and then consciously go about your other business. The longer the tension is built up, the more intense the release can be later on.

In doctor/nurse role-playing games, sentences like:

"I think I urgently need an injection."

or:

"I need to examine you thoroughly - please undress slowly."

go down very well. In dominant scenarios, a sentence like:

"Kneel down, you little shoe licker."

is arousing - provided you have explicitly agreed that such humiliation is okay beforehand.

Humiliating dirty talk - sensitive zone

Humiliating dirty talk is used especially in dominatrix games or D/s relationships. The dominant part reprimands the sub, sets rules and can - if desired - also "downgrade" with words.

"You are my obedient toy."

or:

"You serve me, otherwise you will be punished."

can be incredibly arousing if they are embedded in a safe, familiar setting. Harder words can also have their place - but only if both sides consciously choose them and can handle them mentally.

Important:

• Talk in advance about which terms are allowed.
• Use safe words in case a formulation goes too far emotionally.
• After the session (aftercare), check how certain phrases made you feel.

Humiliating dirty talking requires a lot of trust, responsibility and aftercare - then it can feel like an intense, protected game, not like an attack.

Dirty talking with a difference: notes, messages & pictures

You don't always have to whisper your sentences in your ear. Sometimes an unexpected sentence around the corner has an even stronger effect. Ideas:

• Small notes in your jacket pocket: "You're mine tonight."
• A text message: "Think of me when you shower today."
• A short voice message in a low or particularly soft voice.

But be careful:
Messenger, social networks & clouds are rarely really secure.
Only send pictures or texts that you can live with in case they do fall into the wrong hands.

If you want to combine dirty talk with sex toys, you can write, for example:

"Tonight you'll finally learn what that new plug is for."

or take a photo of your favorite toy - without your face - and send a dirty sentence. The titillation starts long before you actually touch each other.

90 sample sentences for dirty talk

30 examples of "classic" dirty talk

1. "I want to feel you."
2. "Your body drives me crazy."
3. "I can't stop thinking about you."
4. "You make me so hot."
5. "I want you here and now."
6. "Your touch drives me wild."
7. "I want to explore every inch of you."
8. "You're my biggest temptation."
9. "I want to feel, taste and touch you."
10. "Your body is perfect for me."
11. "I love the way you move."
12. "I want to drive you to climax."
13. "You're my secret sex dream."
14. "I can't wait to undress you."
15. "Your voice turns me on."
16. "I want you close to me."
17. "Your eyes drive me crazy."
18. "I want to feel you come."
19. "You're my sweet secret."
20. "I can't wait to kiss you."
21. "Your lips make me weak."
22. "I want to satisfy you so much that you'll never forget me."
23. "You're my most beautiful sexual dream."
24. "I want to feel your hands all over my body."
25. "Your movements drive me crazy."
26. "I want to lose myself completely in you."
27. "You are my favorite sin."
28. "I can hardly wait to be alone with you again."
29. "Your closeness makes me hot."
30. "I want to experience you again and again."

30 examples of dirty talk in the context of BDSM

1. "I want to tie you up and show you who's in charge."
2. "Your submissiveness turns me on."
3. "You get just as much as I want - no more."
4. "Your quiet pain excites me."
5. "I want to dominate you and use you as we please."
6. "Your humility drives me wild."
7. "There's a punishment for every misstep."
8. "Your devotion is mine."
9. "I want to dominate and subjugate you."
10. "Your mixture of fear and lust turns me on."
11. "I will torture you - and you will love it."
12. "Your submission is beautiful."
13. "I'll train you the way I want."
14. "Your submission excites me."
15. "I control you - body and mind."
16. "You obey, and I reward."
17. "I want to subdue and guide you."
18. "Your devotion makes me hungry for more."
19. "For every rule there is a consequence."
20. "Your way of giving yourself to me turns me on."
21. "I punish you so that you learn to serve me."
22. "Your humility is my greatest thrill."
23. "I want to mold you until you are perfect for me."
24. "Your devotion is mine alone."
25. "I want to dominate and control you."
26. "Your devotion is my favorite gift."
27. "I demand your obedience."
28. "Your submission makes me addicted."
29. "I lead - you follow, that's our order."
30. "Your devotion makes every session more intense."

30 examples of dirty talk in the context of fetish

1. "I can't stop thinking about your high heels."
2. "Your leather jacket drives me crazy."
3. "I want to feel you in your latex clothes."
4. "Your nylons turn me on."
5. "I can't wait to touch your boots."
6. "Your corset barely lets me breathe - with lust."
7. "I want to experience you in your mask."
8. "Your tights are amazing."
9. "I want to kiss your ankle boots."
10. "Your vinyl clothes make me hot."
11. "I want to feel you in your latex suit."
12. "Your high heels are my downfall."
13. "I want to lick your boots clean."
14. "Your leather gloves excite me."
15. "I love it when you dress in leather."
16. "Your nylons drive me crazy."
17. "I want to feel it when your boots are on me."
18. "Your shiny vinyl clothes turn me on."
19. "I want to own you tightly laced in latex."
20. "Your high heels drive me crazy."
21. "I can't wait to kiss your ankle boots."
22. "Your leather clothes are my favorite look."
23. "I want to see you dominate in your latex suit."
24. "Your nylons on my skin are indescribable."
25. "I want to wear your boots as a sign of your power."
26. "Your vinyl clothing makes me forget everything else."
27. "I want to lose myself in your leather scent."
28. "Your high heels make every step you take erotic."
29. "I can hardly wait to touch your latex body."
30. "Your fetish clothing makes you my ultimate fantasy."

When you use dirty talking consciously, respectfully and with a wink, it becomes a powerful tool of pleasure. Combined with matching sex toys, restraints or fetish clothing, it becomes a game that touches both mind and body. At Steeltoyz, you'll find the toys and accessories that will turn your words into tingling reality.