Sexual pleasure and pain are often close together. This is true not only for proven masochists, but for practically all people. This is due, among other things, to the fact that the brain centers for pleasurable feelings and pain are very closely connected.
However, those who discover the pleasure of pain or suppression in themselves find it difficult to communicate this to their own partner. We show you how you can best express your sexual desires.
Rediscover sexual feelings
It is not at all uncommon for sexual desires and preferences to develop or come to fruition only over time. Especially those in the area of BDSM are discovered by many people only late for themselves.
So if you find that movies, books or stories with such a background excite you or that your fantasies revolve around these things, you are not alone. Surveys have shown that significantly more women than men have these fantasies and dream of being oppressed, humiliated or even punished with pain during sex - in play.
But it can also be the other way around. You may enjoy the thought of your own dominance and the "oppression" of your partner in your fantasy. No matter what fantasies and desires live in you, you should not suppress them.
Communication in the partnership is of special importance
New sexual desires can quickly overwhelm you. But keeping it a secret and suppressing your desire is not the right way either. Ideally, you can talk openly with your partner about your feelings and desires.
You may even be surprised if your partner expresses similar desires or even signals an interest in the area of BDSM. However, if you can't talk so openly and easily about sexual fantasies and feelings in the relationship, then you also have other possibilities to express your desires more subtly.
Hinting at or showing your desires
You can also simply try to approach the new topics very carefully during sex. If you do this playfully and slowly, you will not overwhelm your partner. On the other hand, the whole can increase so gradually and little by little and thus meet your wishes more and more.
No matter whether you just want a harder pace during sex, want to have a more dominant partner in bed or whether you want to incorporate pain into the mutual love game. Proceed carefully and pay attention to the reactions of your partner.
Often you will be surprised to find that they are also enthusiastic about the new type of play or bring in their own ideas. In this way, you can gradually develop sexually and grow with each other. A great feeling, which can strengthen a relationship noticeably.
If you want to explore your desires together, our BDSM guide for couples and beginners offers practical ideas for a safe and pleasurable start.
